Good mood

Listening to: Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine

I've had a lovely day with one of my best friends Becca today ♥ Haven't seen her properly in ages, but today we went Christmas shopping and out for tea (Pizza Hut happy hour, 4 quid for a starter a pizza and a drink, amazing!) then we had mulled wine from the German market, was so nice! Until I started to feel ill, so I came home, had a bath then watched Sex and The City movie. Cannot wait for the second one to come out! I fully intend on buying all of the series with my xmas money!

I went to the hairdressers to see about getting my hair done blonde today - gonna cost around £120, but I need it done twice because my hair's so dark, so that's about £200. Is going blonde really worth that much money? I think so.

I'm talking to this guy on MSN who says he's going to prove to me that men can be amazing and he wants to meet up...good luck to him is all I can say, I'm sure as hell gonna take some convincing!

Lauren is booking tickets to come up for my birthday tomorrow, YEY! xxxxxxxxx

SO excited!

Listening to: Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
(I like the Live Lounge version by Paramore more though)

Reasons to be excited are as follows:
1. Lauren is coming to visit earlier than expcected, YES!
2. I'm going to London on December 4th to see Frankmusik with Ann-la!
3. I'm taking a leap and trying out blonde.
4. I plan to get a lovely tattoo across my back, it's gonna be big and gorgeous!
5. Jedward are playing in Newcastle on December 5th. I hate them, but boyyyy are they worth a watch live!

Diet has gone completely out of the window though. Put all of the weight that I lost back on; Kate Moss says "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"? Well fuck you. You're beautiful and everything, but give me a curry and a pint of cider anyday and I'll bloody well enjoy it!

Chow for now x

Don't let them see you cry

Listening to: Lie In the Sound - Trespassers William

So, today hasn't been great. Was in a mega good mood until my grandad bought me a galaxy bar; I caved, ate in, then ate 4 packets of crisps, 4 sandwiches and some Fanta. I'm so shit :( TOMORROW I WILL BE GOOD ALL DAY. I've put back on nearly all of the weight I've lost.

Feeling pretty shity currently, miss Lauren, miss London and wondering why I don't miss other people. I really don't want to be at home for the next year. I'm also worried I'm not gonna get into uni anywhere for next year; my grades are canny rubbish. I'm also sick of sitting in the house 24/7, I need some money and a proper job. Not having any luck in finding either. URGH.

I've been thinking about someone loads lately. I told Lauren all about him already. I really want a boyfriend, but the only person I want is him. No matter how many other people I like, nobody ever compares to him. I'd ditch anyone in a second, for the chance to be with this guy. I know it's never gonna happen though. Two words: fiance, child. I've been in love with him for well over 2 years now, but I haven't seen him in ages. The worst part is I think he felt the same; I hate how compicated life can be. I really, really miss him.



I'd do anything for things to go back to how they used to be ♥
You're amazing.

www.cracked.com

One word:

HILARIOUS

For Lola

Yup, for you, since you're complaining you haven't had your daily dose of CT, even though you haven't blogged in 4 WHOLE DAYS.

The diet isn't going to well, had a bad weekend and 2 pints of cider at the pub tonight followed by 4 ham and cheese sanwhichs and crisps. Nightmare!

Christmas shifts have been put up in the pub; I'm working xmas day, boxing day AND new years eve. Devastated! At least I have new years day off, hello massive piss up ♥

I told this guy who I'm friends with that I like him on Saturday night, even though all he ever talks about when he speaks to me is how much he's in love with this girl who I won't name, even though loads of people have told me she's a right bitch. He hasn't spoken to me since; excellent. My life's going as well as ever.

I also caved on the giving up smoking and bought some cigarettes on Friday night, only to lose them after smoking 2. I'm 99% positive I left them in my mums car; but they're not there now and she hasn't said anything. I think he's taken them and not said anything just to mess with me to be honest.

Currently have no other news, apart from LAUREN IS COMING TO STAY SOON. Literally cannot wait. If she doesn't come I will be GUTTED and possibly never talk to her again. And if that fails, for at least 5 minutes. I'd never be able to stop talking to her for good, she's too amazing. Definitely friends for life! xxx

Nick Lyons

is who I'm talking to on MSN right now. I'm quite drunk; but haven't posted in 2 days so felt like I should write something.

Good day today. Met my best friend in town and we went to 2 gigs, both of which had loads of fit guys at them, good times!

All I can be bothered to write for now tbh; I MISS LAUREN HAWKINS!

Day number 3

So, today has been about as interesting as yesterday. I did shower today though and download the Twilight and New Moon soundtracks; going to see the film next week with 3 of my best friends from home - Beth, Justine and Becca. Shame Hannah can't make it, she'd complete our fivesome. She's at uni in Preston though, so I'll let her off.

Lauren got her Blackberry today, so when she FINALLY sorts out her email and wifi, I'll be able to talk to her on BB chat 24/7, amazing! ♥ SO glad I met this girl.

I have an appointment at the job centre tomorrow, ashamed to say I am going to begin claiming job seekers allowance. Never thought I'd see myself say that. Oh well, it's only until I find a proper job, which hopefully won't be too long. On the subject of employment, my boss from my job in London sent my pay cheque to my London address, who claim they returned it to the sender. My boss hasn't had it back yet. I hope it hasn't gone missing, that'd be me down a good £150 quid or so, and I just can't afford to lose that kind of money right now!

My mum's gone on another date tonight. The guy's 10 years younger than her with tattoos and a shaved head, as well as being my brothers football coach. Hello midlife crisis? She says she likes him though, so I'm happy for her. Kinda despressing that my mum has a more active love life than I do. First guy she's dated properly since her and my dad broke up, hope it works out for her. My dad's been with his girlfriend for over a year now and I still haven't met her. Not sure what's up with that to be honest.

Lazy days

Listening to: Careful - Paramore

So, today has been completely uneventful. Spent the whole day in my room making playlists and watching House. Time well spent if you ask me; although the boredom of having no uni work or full time job to go to is starting to get to me, which is surprising. When I do have things to do, I come up with every possible way of avoiding them.

Spent a lot of time talking to Lauren last night/this morning. Only known her 2 months or so, but it feels like I've known her forever. I miss her a lot; definite downside of no longer being at uni - my uni friends live at the opposite end of the country. She's gonna come visit soon though, hopefully for my birthday. Gonna go visit her too; it's only fair that Cov gets the pleasure of my presence.

She drew this ♥



Other news - Beth text me earlier which was nice, it's strange being home without her around. She's not too far away though, I'm seeing her Saturday. We're going to a gig in town, it's free and there's a few decent bands playing so it should be good. A guy who I used to like a lot is gonna be there though, he's in one of the bands. Seen him a few times since we 'broke up' (we weren't actually together) and it's not very pleasant; makes me feel weird, think I'm afraid of liking him again. Oh well, just gonna have to deal with it.

Saw Becca yesterday too, she's doing medicine at uni, so she doesn't have much free time. Me and Justine went round to hers, Becca drank tea and we had a good old girly chat. Her boyfriend's taking her to Chicago next month, we think he might propose. They've been together 5 years now and although she's only 18, she's totally ready for it. I've told her if he does she needs to let me throw her an engagement party, excited!

Still haven't done any exercise today, ah well...I'm sticking to my diet at least. Had a cheeky look at the scales and i've lost 3 pounds already! Hope I can keep this up.

Let's start over

Lisetning to: We Danced Together - The Rakes

I moved to London, went to uni, met Annie and Lauren, had a threesome with a gorgeous guy and a beautiful girl, learned to love cider, drank too much vodka, fell in love with a gay guy, felt like a foreigner in my own country and threw up in some of the most inappropraite places imaginable. It was the time of my life. 4 grand and 2 months later, I'm back home; a uni drop out, with thousands of pounds of debt and some what cloudy view of the direction I want my life to take.

Most of my friends have moved away, I have no boyfriend and as of today I work part time in the local pub. Also thinking about doing some kind of volunteering to occupy some of plentyful free time.

So, to give my life some sort of 'meaning' (not sure that's the right word to use) I've complied a list of things I want to do. See below:

1. Save some money.
This means I have to spend less, which in turn means drinking less alcohol and buying less clothes. Not sure I can stick to the latter, or the former for that matter. To help with this, I intend to:
2. Shop in charity shops.
You find some absolute gems looking through rails of other peoples cast offs - I get a cheap new wardrobe, whilst giving to the needy at the same time. Win win.
3. Quit smoking.
I have asthma, so starting was never a good idea in the first place. It's also a very expensive habbit. Stopping it will not only improve the health of by body, but of my purse too (I did just have a cigarette when walking along the beach, but it was only half, and it wasn't even mine.)
4. EAT LESS
This one is very important. I've put on a whole 2 stone since the beginning of the summer; simply unacceptable and I refuse to carry this excess weight on my body any longer. Bye bye fatty, hello Slimming World. (Since I got home on Friday, I've eaten nothing but healthy food, with the exception of a hotdog whilst at a fireworks display on Sunday night. Go me!) I also intend to keep a diary of everything I eat and drink. Fun times.
5. Go running/to the gym
Excercise will (hopefully) make my diet all the more effective. Although so far I've failed at this entirely. I've been telling myself I'm gonna go for a run or to the gym every day for the past 5 days, it's yet to happen...there's always tomorrow.
6. Sleep with more girls, and less guys.
Guys I've been sexually/romantically interested in so far have all turned out to be pricks. Time for a gender change; it's been too long. Hello ladies.

Also, just got home from spending some time with a girl I used to be getting with. Was kind of having wandering thoughts that maybe ending stuff with her wasn't a good idea; but I've decided to nip this in the bud. She has a new girlfriend now and I'm happy for her. When I was with her I didn't want to be; seems like a classic case of wanting what I can't have. Definitely time for some new blood.